Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
