Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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