My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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