i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
