yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
