Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
