is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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