So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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