i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
