I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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