i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize