Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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