i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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