Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
