I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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