Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
