MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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