i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am one with the molecules
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
