I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
