This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
