Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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