The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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