Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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