God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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