Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
