That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
