I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
