Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize