I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
