i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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