so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
