just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
