I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
