i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
