It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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