he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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