CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
