i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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