I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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