I just pynch a tree in the face
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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