you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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