Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
