Christians are straight up FREAKS
is wine microwaveable?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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