she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
