Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
