I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
