we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
