He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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