It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Couch. On fire.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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