Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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