all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
