i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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