I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
