you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My bed smells like the plague
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
