her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
