I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
