My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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