I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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