I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
