Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
